Right now we are watching a movie. A Christmas movie about a man who has to live the day over and over again. And each time after he's realized it wasn't going to change unless he changed it, it became a special day for him. It became special only after he did something to make it special. This got me to thinking about us and whether I would have something special, a special day that I would want to relive over and over again, and I began remembering. The first day I would choose would be the day I fell in love with you. You'll never know exactly when it happened but it happened and that is what is most important. I was with someone who didn't appreciate me, and I was blinded by what I thought was love. But you showed me a different way, a better way, the best way to love and be loved. I'd decided that I deserved more and you made me feel like I did. So that was the day I decided to love you for the rest of my life. It wasn't that easy though. I would be almost four months before I decided to actually make it official because although it was exactly what I wanted, I wasn't sure it was what I needed. The longest time in my life but when I told you and I saw the relief on your face, August 02, 2006 both of us were the happiest people in the world. That would be the first day. The second would be the day that Julie and I drove all that way to pick up the man of my dreams, this is a great day even though you didn't kiss me. Did my breath smell? I'm kidding but still you didn't kiss me. Hey I'm serious! The third day would have to be our first anniversary. You did so much to make it special and for that I will never forget. I'd never felt so loved in all my years of existence. I'm not sure why I'm writing you this letter, but what I am sure about is that I love you with every ounce of breath that's in me.

I started this letter in the beginning of November, and since then we've been having oodles of issues in our relationship. I never finished the letter so he did not receive it. But here is the start of my thoughts. Unfinished, uncensored and unknown as to what is going to happen in the future.

Pull out that power suit! After a free-spirited year, 2009 brings back the structure and predictability that you prefer. On January 5, expansive Jupiter enters Aquarius — your 10th house of career, prestige and leadership. Get ready for a thrilling year of career growth and changes, even a fancy new executive title. Jupiter is the luck planet, so the gods will be smiling on you!

Don’t put your feet up on the coffee table just yet, Taurus. Jupiter rules long-distance journeys. You could find yourself traveling, with offshore contracts or communicating regularly with people in faraway places. This trend will really rocket off on January 26, when an eclipse falls in Aquarius, surprising you with exciting news. Eclipses on July 7 and August 5 will also touch on your career, home and family sectors. You might even relocate or change your family’s lifestyle as a result of your career growth.

The good news is, you don’t have to be chained to a desk. Last year, Jupiter visited your ninth house of travel and freedom, showing your normally rooted sign the joys of flexible hours and unstructured fun. Taurus, you’re a security-minded sign, but in 2008, you may have risked some of that for a taste of independence. Some Taurus friends shocked us by trading in their well-established businesses or stable 9-to-5s to travel the world, work three days a week or freelance while dreaming up their next big idea.

Now, transformational Pluto is in your ninth house (until January 2024). This sector of your chart also rules study, religion, philosophy, entrepreneurship and multicultural or international issues. You could find yourself starting a business, going back to school or traveling the world — and being deeply affected by your experience. You could even write a book, as publishing is favored. There’s a “hippie” element to the ninth house. So if you embraced your inner Stevie Nicks or Jerry Garcia, don’t give that up!

In matters of the heart, slow and steady will continue to win the race until October 29. Serious Saturn is in your romantic fifth house, bringing shape and structure to your love life. Saturn has been here since September 2007, marking a more serious chapter in many Tauruses’ approach to love. If you’re still feeling terminally single, turn to a mentor, matchmaker or dating coach. Authority figures fall under Saturn’s rule, and the guidance of a pro can help you meet your soul mate. Saturn can restrict, so if romance has been hard to create in your relationship due to a busy work schedule, book a regular date night to bring back the mojo. Saturn rewards a man or woman with a plan!

A pregnancy is possible, or you may find yourself dealing with fertility matters. If you’re trying to have children without success, be patient. The more you force it, the more Saturn will resist. There may be some personal issues you need to work out first, even resolving an inner conflict about whether or not you truly want to be a parent.

If you’re an artist or creative person, spend some time each day working on your craft. Painting, writing, dance, theater, building, woodworking — whatever your creative outlet, it will be a saving grace when you’re stressed. Also, you can rise to noteworthy heights if you’re willing to work hard. Saturn can bring prestige, as long as you pay your dues. Fortunately, you already know that the secret to success is persistence.

Saturn is retrograde (moving backward) until May 16, a low-power position for this planet. Retrogrades turn our attention to the past. If you have unfinished business with an old flame, it’s a good time to put up healthy boundaries and gain closure. You can’t create a bright new future if you’re dragging along ghosts from your past. The retrograde is also a great time to dust off a latent artistic project or skill.

Communication planet Mercury is also retrograde in Taurus during the first part of May. Your birthday month may not be the highlight of 2009, but take lots of deep breaths and think twice before you speak. It will all work out.

On October 29, Saturn moves into your sixth house of health and fitness. It’s an important time to get serious about your well-being, and to devote regular time to living a “heart-smart” lifestyle. You might even work with a trainer or nutritionist to help you get in tip-top shape.

In the summer, your social life gets a jolt of fresh energy. Exciting new friendships and groups could also appear this year, courtesy of eclipses in July and December. You could also receive a thrilling call or message. Keep your ears perked around July 7 and July 22!

Your luckiest days: April 25, July 7, November 2, December 31

Just stay in bed: January 21, March 8, May 8, September 7

Constantly it goes on and on. He's so hurt, and I'm not? Hello! I'm continually hurt by the lack of attention and lack of having a man who will take care of me. Its not that he can't he has done it but then, here we go... Again! That's right again folks, over and over. At least 3-4 times a year we go through this same stupid ass argument. And this time, I'm just not going to deal with it anymore. And of course he tries to use the excuse, well you can make a move on me. First off, I've never HAD to do anything to either him nor any other boyfriend I've had. I've never had a problem with lack of sex with any one other than him. Hell when I was in college females even came on to me when ever or where ever. But hey if that is how he rolls. Maybe he doesn't understand that life, or our relationship isn't a magazine article. The TV is the problem? Please spare me. When we aren't fighting about sex TV isn't a problem. When we aren't fighting about sex he's all over me. But he expects me to allow him to feel all over me, to kiss me, to hold me and not be disappointed that I'm hot or wet and have to stay that way? I'm tired of talking about it, fighting about it, just plain tired. So instead of just that I'm giving up on us. Funny thing is of all my relationships I've had a vision on whether things would work out and our vision had a happily ever after and I've never been wrong about these things, but hey we can't be right 100% of the time, so I guess I'm single again. A man, who is suppose to take care of me can't? Especially in the most intimate way? Now that hurts.

Oh man, oh man, oh man, another great one gone!
Michael Crichton
1942 - 2008

Best-selling author Michael Crichton died unexpectedly in Los Angeles Tuesday, November 4, 2008 after a courageous and private battle against cancer.

While the world knew him as a great story teller that challenged our preconceived notions about the world around us -- and entertained us all while doing so -- his wife Sherri, daughter Taylor, family and friends knew Michael Crichton as a devoted husband, loving father and generous friend who inspired each of us to strive to see the wonders of our world through new eyes. He did this with a wry sense of humor that those who were privileged to know him personally will never forget.

Through his books, Michael Crichton served as an inspiration to students of all ages, challenged scientists in many fields, and illuminated the mysteries of the world in a way we could all understand.

He will be profoundly missed by those whose lives he touched, but he leaves behind the greatest gifts of a thirst for knowledge, the desire to understand, and the wisdom to use our minds to better our world.

Michael's family respectfully asks for privacy during this difficult time.

A private memorial service is expected, but no further details will be released to the public.

Oh how I miss my favorite QB Tom Brady, then I wake to find this gracing the front of yahoo... I'm so so so very sad this morning.

BOSTON (TICKER) —Doctors are concerned about an infection in reigning NFL MVP Tom Brady’s surgically repaired left knee, and have performed a total of three more procedures to remove it.

The New England Patriots’ quarterback had surgery to repair a torn ACL and MCL on October 6 in Los Angeles, and confirmed a second surgery on Wednesday after he developed an infection. Citing an anonymous source, the Boston Herald reported on Wednesday that Brady has had two more procedures since that time.

The newspaper reported that doctors fear that the patellar tendon graft used to replace Brady’s ACL is in danger of becoming compromised. In that case, the entire ACL reconstruction would have to be removed and redone from scratch, causing a major setback in his rehab.

Brady wrote on his web site, tombrady.com that, “The infection is very treatable and, through a course of antibiotics, it will be knocked out of my system.”

Brady referred to the second procedure as being “proactive,” on the part of the doctors, and that the results have been positive. Brady is on a course of IV antibiotics, which he will continue for a six-week period, according to the Herald’s source.

Brady, who threw for a single-season record 50 touchdowns in 2007, suffered a torn ACL and MCL in the season opener against the Kansas City Chiefs on September 7.

Ok I've been a bit bitchy lately and for that I'm sorry. Life for me although it hasn't moved forward is better than I expected it to be. We went to a baby shower on Sunday and although I decided I didn't want children, seeing my niece pregnant with twins made me think twice. I do want children. We had a great time even though there was someone there that we didn't care to see. We didn't let her ruin our evening. Can't wait until our two new great nephews arrive. I'll be sure to post pictures as soon as I can.

Yeah I know, no one said it would be easy. I've been having a very hard time feeling beautiful. Am I beautiful? My husband doesn't even touch me as he use to, and I know we learn and grow everyday but it just doesn't seem our relationship is the same, but maybe thats just me. I just want to feel beautiful. Is that too much to ask for?

According to NEW DELHI (AFP) - The Dalai Lama has been hospitalised due to abdominal pain and could undergo surgery on Friday, a senior doctor told AFP, but his spokesman insisted that he was only undergoing "routine tests."

The spiritual leader was admitted to a state-run New Delhi hospital on Thursday following media reports that abdominal pains for which he had spent four days in a Mumbai hospital in August had recurred.

A senior doctor at New Delhi's Sir Ganga Ram Hospital, who did not wish to be identified, told AFP that the Dalai Lama, a former Nobel peace Prize winner, had been hospitalised.

"He was admitted when he complained of abdominal pain and now chances are that the Dalai Lama will be operated upon, most probably tomorrow (Friday)," the doctor said.

The article later said there is nothing to worry about and I for one hope this is true!

Over the last few days I've been weighing the options of my personal relationship. I love him, there isn't any doubt about that. The decision I need to make is, do I really want to be in a relationship. I'm not so sure I want to be in a relationship at all. But does love outweigh the fact that he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with? He needs to know what is going on because if my decision is 'it's over' things are only getting worst by the minute. I love him and I know I love him and I believe he knows I love him. On the other hand I don't want to feel like its over every time we fight, I don't want to be the one to pull away and I don't want to be the one to concede when we fight. Its a tough enough situation and I don't need to make it more difficult by thinking to hard which is what I do. There are so many factors in determining a great relationship, ours fall in to that category and thats a plus. But when we fight we fight and I am usually the one thinking things over while the only thing he is thinking about is 'he doesn't want to lose me'. I don't want that power over someones heart; its too much to handle and I don't have the mindset to do that. Life is hard yes but love should be easy right? So what is my decision? The million dollar question but I don't even have a dime to my name. I love him and that should be enough to get us through this. At least I hope so. Somethings in life are made for each other, like U&Me, I love you baby!

I took a nap this afternoon. It felt great but I woke up feeling just the same as I'd done beforehand. Why? Well because what they say is true. The people closest to you hurt you the most. I'm still thinking things over and don't really know what to do or how to handle this one. We've fought before but thats the point. I'm so sick of it. When we fight we always have a big fight. We don't fight as often as most couples do but damn when we fight. I'm still tired and I'm still totally pissed off.