Right now we are watching a movie. A Christmas movie about a man who has to live the day over and over again. And each time after he's realized it wasn't going to change unless he changed it, it became a special day for him. It became special only after he did something to make it special. This got me to thinking about us and whether I would have something special, a special day that I would want to relive over and over again, and I began remembering. The first day I would choose would be the day I fell in love with you. You'll never know exactly when it happened but it happened and that is what is most important. I was with someone who didn't appreciate me, and I was blinded by what I thought was love. But you showed me a different way, a better way, the best way to love and be loved. I'd decided that I deserved more and you made me feel like I did. So that was the day I decided to love you for the rest of my life. It wasn't that easy though. I would be almost four months before I decided to actually make it official because although it was exactly what I wanted, I wasn't sure it was what I needed. The longest time in my life but when I told you and I saw the relief on your face, August 02, 2006 both of us were the happiest people in the world. That would be the first day. The second would be the day that Julie and I drove all that way to pick up the man of my dreams, this is a great day even though you didn't kiss me. Did my breath smell? I'm kidding but still you didn't kiss me. Hey I'm serious! The third day would have to be our first anniversary. You did so much to make it special and for that I will never forget. I'd never felt so loved in all my years of existence. I'm not sure why I'm writing you this letter, but what I am sure about is that I love you with every ounce of breath that's in me.

I started this letter in the beginning of November, and since then we've been having oodles of issues in our relationship. I never finished the letter so he did not receive it. But here is the start of my thoughts. Unfinished, uncensored and unknown as to what is going to happen in the future.

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